The act of receiving help

 

 In the middle of the book I am listening to, The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry, a truth was observed by the protagonist that struck me as something that all disabled people deal with. All people, really, but more so those of us who live with disabilities...

 “They had offered him comfort and shelter, even when he was afraid of taking them, and in accepting he had learned something new. It was as much of a gift to receive as it was to give, requiring as it did both courage and humility.”
― Rachel Joyce, The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry

 

Requiring courage and humility. Yes indeed! Many is the time that I struggled on,  knowing I could receive help if I only asked. Many times I did not ask. There were multiple reasons for this. Firstly, I felt I 'should' be able to do it myself. Very silly.  I mean, I can be confined to my apartment after surgery and feel I should be able to drive myself to a medical appointment. Not the least bit realistic. More wishful thinking with a dash of yearning for what I used to be able to do.

Secondly, I am afraid to have a helper near me. We are vulnerable when we are disabled. It does take a great amount of courage to have someone, often a stranger in the form of a health aide, or even a family member, in our midst. We are only partially in charge. They may be stronger or more capable of thinking things through. They may be present for financial gain only, thus causing us to question their very integrity. No one who is paid to help us is doing it because they love us or they want urgently to pull us along on a healing journey. 

Thirdly, I am 'not at my best', I may look like Hell, I may smell of bodily fluids. I may be very confused. I may say all the wrong things if I am either exhausted or depressed. I may be in too much pain to even properly fill out a shopping list for them to follow. In any of these states, we must truly humble ourselves just in order to ask for and receive some very basic things.

It was revealing to 'witness' the character of Harold Fry go from an independent and isolated person, to one who began to reach out to perfect strangers for help. He not only began to find it more comfortable to speak up about his needs, but he also gave a gift to those who helped him. All who helped were delighted to do so. Helping someone is often a marvelous experience. An actual neural pathway in the human system is affected when helping others and leads to a boost in our well-being! Perhaps this is an important part of being human, that helping others is a long-standing survival tool that can ensure that they will be around to help us later. Whatever the true reason for our enjoyment of helping, when we ALLOW others to help, our gift to them can equal their offering to us.

So, the next time I feel wide-open in my vulnerability as a disabled person, I am promising myself to remember Harold Fry. If he can find the courage to ask for help, so can I.

-GG

Our amazing intuition sessions

Wednesdays at 12:30, a group of growth-seeking individuals discuss the development of intuition with the help of our leader, Susan. The experiences have been both eye-opening and satisfying.

Some of our 'homework' has been paying attention to the animal of your choice in order to put feelers out for a 'spirit animal,'  sitting silently with a trusted person to see what information comes into our minds, thinking about how our world view would change if we were to adopt the belief that all paths are valid, and the consideration that we can view ourselves as our own child and can treat ourselves as such. And many other fascinating discussions.   As I write, I am concerned that I am not wording these session descriptions very well. The topics we deal with are not easy to describe. But, my goodness, are they ever powerful!

I come to these meetings to develop my intuition but the knowledge and experiences I am gaining go so far beyond my original goals, that I feel I am standing in  an empty room with my mouth agape. I am amazed at what is emerging, for all attendees, and never expected to be given the gifts of exploration that I am receiving.  We are opening up to ourselves and each other. We are growing. I see people's faces changing over the weeks. It is beautiful.

Newcomers are welcome. The sessions are free and meet via Zoom. Signups are on Meetup.com through the Inclusion Center group.

-GG

Listening to the body's messages

I have caraway seeds in my spice rack that never get used. Well, scratch that, they get used every Christmas when I bake a special kind of bread for a friend of mine.

But in the past week, I have eaten at least a teaspoon of the seeds daily even though I have never cared for the taste.  Why?  Because my body told me to. 

My body suddenly started craving caraway. Since I learned to trust my body with 'wise cravings,' I payed attention and found a way to consume the seeds so that I could easily enjoy them and not have to bake with them, as is my method for my friend's holiday gift.

After my first 'dose,' I looked up the benefits, knowing I would not be a bit surprised at finding out that caraway is exactly what I need right now. Sure enough, it eases indigestion, bloating, gas, heartburn, and the like. All of which I have been dealing with (in mild to moderate misery) for several weeks now. The ailment has drastically improved since I began liberally sprinkling finely ground caraway seeds on my morning toast.

A few years back, I began listening to my body's cravings. I dreamed I was eating blackboard chalk! I certainly was puzzled when I woke up and recalled the dream. I decided to look up the contents of chalk. It is all calcium. I looked up what I could eat that has a lot of that and tofu and almond were on the list. These are foods I would eat almost daily but for some reason had stopped for the past previous months. I felt my body recognized its lack of the usual calcium doses and let me know via a dream.

*sigh*  ...... If only my body would demand guilt-free chocolate cake!

 -GG

 

 

Misophonia needs an official clinical home

 Misophonia is a little-known condition where people experience a negative reaction to certain innocuous stimuli, which are often common, everyday sounds. While many people find some visual or auditory stimuli annoying, individuals with Misophonia experience an extreme reaction to trigger stimuli, which can interfere with their everyday lives. That reaction begins with instant, intense rage.

The above rendition of a screaming lady is a very accurate likeness to myself and countless other misophonia sufferers. We have absolutely no control over the instant feelings of rage that flood our systems the moment we hear certain sounds. The disorder causes marked disruptions in our lives.

I have lost friends over this issue. I had a dear companion who simply could not eat with her mouth closed. Smacking sounds are one of the biggest triggers for miso folks. I am on a support forum full of users who describe abandoning relationships due to this condition. And I just finished registering at a cat-lovers website where several users are in despair over the rage they feel (just as I do) the moment their precious kitty begins to lick herself. Oh, that sound! So much worse than the typical 'nails on a chalkboard' repulsion.

My experiences began when I was about eight years old. So did my brother's , SO DID MY DAUGHTER'S!  Studies show how often it runs in families. And how closely it is paired with depression and OCD.

With the plethora of information out there in the medical community and the frequency with which sufferers seek help, one would think the condition would be 'official.'  Not yet, apparently. That needs to happen. I have described the horrors of this to at least five practitioners in the past year. Not a one has ever heard of it. I am happy to provide them with information so they can help or diagnose others, but find it sad that here I am, educating the pros. So far, no cure or treatment has been found, other than the constant use of earplugs, not possible for some people. I myself now have earplugs in every room. When I reach for them, I can never move fast enough. The rage has already taken over my body upon being exposed to some sound.  My pulse races, the adrenaline goes through the roof, and my muscles are tensed. I want more than anything to throw a chair through a window. It is, actually, quite a fascinating disorder. I will throw a party the day someone finds a real solution.

-GG