procrastination

 I was offered an assignment many moons ago. I began immediately. I had such grand visions of what the results would be.

 

To my disappointment, all that I created fell short of my expectations and procrastination set in for completing the project, which I felt was not up to my standards.

It sat on the shelf all summer and I'd walk by it, hoping for inspiration and wondering what happened to the skills I used to have. I used to be able to draw well. This was an illustration assignment.  None of what I looked at felt good at all.

Last week I returned to counseling, having none for 10 months. It did the trick. We never spoke of this one issue, but just having a professional take an interest in my life and depression felt like a revival. I have completed more drawings in the past few days and my feelings of inadequacy have changed. The skill level has not improved, but my acceptance of my current capabilities is in a healthier place.

Maybe I used to be a good artist but there is nothing wrong with submitting what  I am capable of at this particular point in my life.

The procrastination has thankfully taken leave.

 

_GG