Dealing with pain of all kinds

 

I have vacillated between believing that physical pain is preferable to mental pain. After a recent bout with pain that, if asked at the ER, would have registered as a 10, I have changed my mind.

Neither are wonderful in the least bit.  And if and when they come in pairs, my only consolation is that it cannot possibly last for forever.

Yet, I have dealt with both for decades now, with only a brief respite of the mental pain. The physical pain is so persistent that it is fully part of my body. I try, in vain, to imagine what a completely healed body would feel like. I think back to childhood, when I was able to do pretty much anything, pain-free.  I do have those clear memories but still cannot imagine having a pain-free day with my 58-year-old body.

Pain is supposed to be a gift - a signal to help us stay alive as humans. Once we feel pain, we know that part of our body is communicating an essential message -that it needs attention.  I have learned to ignore those clear messages. But the pain itself is still very much present. I "work through it" in order to accomplish daily tasks. Or to do things that bring me joy and fulfillment.  It sometimes seems a pretty high price to pay.

Below is an interesting quote from C.S. Lewis about pain as it relates to coping with society.  Thousands of folks with invisible disabilities must, until we as a culture gain more education and compassion, continually deal with doubters, well-meaning yet ignorant friends, and policies that completely leave us out.

 “Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say “My heart is broken.”
― C.S. Lewis

I disagree with his notion that mental pain is less dramatic. I can remember the drama of smashing my head through a window, which I often did in years past, due to mental pain. But his assertion that the burden is greatly increased is spot-on.  Would that we could all grow to be open and feel safe about revealing our inner selves.

-GG