Beginnings.... Everyone Matters

 

As I sit here thinking about the beginning of the Inclusion Center I find I can’t sort out when the beginning was.

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There was our first Friday session at the Gibson Aiken Center when so many people showed up and we had balloon games, learned some sign language and played bingo.

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But that wasn’t actually the beginning because a number of people had met for over a year before that day; a year of discussing what we wanted, what the sessions would look like, who would be welcome to join us.

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So maybe the beginning of the Inclusion Center was that first gathering of interested parents and program providers when we met at the library and all shared our interests and goals for the program that would eventually be the Inclusion Center.

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But that first meeting wasn’t actually the beginning either because before that, I had met with a dozen individuals to discuss the concept of an inclusive program for all people. There was the walk I took with a friend where the idea was originally voiced, and then the tea I had with a parent where we discussed whether this idea was actually possible or not, and so many other conversations held with various people before the actual meeting at the library that was open to the public.

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I think it’s more accurate to say the beginning of the Inclusion Center was the day I met with a local program when they told me that Reuben wasn’t welcome to an event with all his friends because he wasn’t a member of their program. That’s when I reacted by saying to the staff, “why can’t you simply welcome everyone who has a disability, even if you charge those who are not a part of your program?!” That’s when the idea became clear to me that there was a real need in our community and that not even the programs that are designed to fit the need were going to do anything about it. �

But in order for that thought to grow inside of me I had to become who I was on that day. I had to have experiences that taught me that everyone matters, that people shouldn’t be excluded even if there are rules that say they are, that my son needed an advocate to speak up and do for him so that he could be a part of our community.

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Each experience I had over the years, my work as an advocate, my goals as a human being, my view of life, all brought me to that moment where I was able to see the injustice of the moment, and have the ability to speak up, and then have the motivation and ability to meet with others and put the idea into place.

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In fact, it was as a child that I first began having the understanding that people were excluded and how indecent and unacceptable that was. As a child of 5 I began attending a school where everyone was different from me. My brother and I were the only Jewish kids in the school and we were the only ones from a city. We were different, and while everyone was kind, we were clearly different.

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When a black student came to the school the principal put the girl in my class and sat her down next to me. The staff knew I would be nice to her and speak with her even though she was more different that anyone I had ever met or seen before. I was terrified of this black girl who was probably twice my size and black as could be, but I understood that no one else would talk with her. I understood that she mattered and that it was up to me.

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So maybe the Inclusion Center actually began that year when I realized that I was the one who could make things go well for a person who wouldn’t be welcomed or accepted, if not for me. I knew that my classmates liked me and that what I did, they would follow.

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And as a younger girl of 4 or so I would fall asleep each night crying and telling myself that when I grew up I would not treat others as I was being treated. I reminded myself over and over that I needed to remember this as an adult: I needed to listen to everyone and I needed to show respect to everyone, including children and animals and others who had no power.

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Beginnings. We tend to think that the beginning of something happens abruptly, but no, it doesn’t. There are so many paths that have to come together to make something happen. Just look at this example of the beginning of the Inclusion Center. Without all the paths that led me here today, the Inclusion Center would not exist.

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Because of this, particularly after writing it here for this writing group, I realize that everything I do right now is leading me toward something else. How I relate to someone, what I do in this next moment, is leading me toward the supposed beginning of who knows what.

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With that in mind, I will make sure that each action I take, each word I speak, is respectful and kind and is something I’d want as the foundation of my next beginning because it truly is that way, it is a part of my future and of beginnings that I am completely unaware of right now.